Yesterday I spoke to my mom on the phone. She will be eighty years old next year. When I was four years old, she was widowed and left to raise five of us. The youngest was two and the oldest was fifteen. It was a challenging but colorful childhood with no father and a mom who struggled. What else was she to do? She cared enough to struggle. Anyway, had a heartwarming conversation with her yesterday. She expressed guilt over not having encouraged me more. She told me that my writing transported her to another place (and she is very immobile these days). She was impressed and felt sorry that she didn't really see whatever talent I had. I told her that I wouldn't have had my life any other way. I told her that I made my own choices and that I wanted to live a life before writing. And that is what I did. I love my mom.
Take THAT Anxiety!!!
Something that not many people know about me is that I have dealt with anxiety and panic. I have been told that it is unusual for panic to surface so late in life, but I experienced my first panic issue in my early forties. I knew immediately what it was, and I sought the help of a doctor. I also devoured a number of books and listened to relaxation tapes. I practiced breathing exercises. I took the initiative and brought the situation under my control. I took pride in the fact that the doc prescribed Xanax, and I only ever took it two or three times--and that was half a pill. I hated the feeling it gave me, kind of like being a zombie. There is a misnomer about such attacks. Perhaps panic is not the best description of what actually occurs. I saw a reporter on the TV a few nights ago. They showed a clip of him in the midst of a panic attack while reporting live. He looked down and appeared confused. He stumbled over...