Narrow Is the Path
A day or two ago, a friend was lamenting on
facebook. It seemed that a "friend" of hers with different beliefs had "unfriended" her. Her situation struck a nerve with me. I had been in the same boat. And I shared her disbelief. The kneejerk reaction for each of us was something like this: How could they unfriend me for something like that? They share all kinds of things that I don't agree with and I wouldn't unfriend them.
I have been through it a number of times in my life. It may not have always been on facebook. But it was the same scenario. There is a good explanation for why lopsided "friendship" happens and will continue to happen--and it may be of special importance for Christian people to know why.
First, lets look at what the general population considers friendship to be. All you need do is look at the typical facebook share about friends. Friends are always there for you. They support you no matter what you decide to do. All that matters to them is that you are happy. They are always there to have fun with you, even when you are doing stupid things. They still love you.
Now, consider what friendship is to the person who is maturing in his walk with God. Friends are always there for you. They may not always support what you do, but they are still kind. They may not have fun in the same way that you do, but they still love you. God is welcome in all of our relationships.
If you take time to think about it, the differences between Christian and non-Christian views of friendship are bound to cause conflicts.
As Christians, we seek a relationship with Christ. And that friendship with Him is the model for all other friendships that we form. Yes, we always fall short. But we seek to be like Him. We seek to love others the way He loves us. He would never leave us, right? But He certainly does not approve of all we do. Nor would he pretend to love all that we do for the sake of tickling our ears. He makes us better, stronger. He is firm in His expectations, and steadfast in His love. His model is how Christian people strive to behave in our human friendships. Peace and happiness are the result of knowing God and knowing friendships like the one He offers us.
But a majority of the population do not share our particular view of friendship. Refer back to the typical facebook post about friendship. If you don't believe me, just scroll your news feed. For many, the most important feature of friendship is supporting your friend's actions and happiness. We will always fall short with this one. You know how there is always that one kid in a group who is the voice of reason and points out when they all might be headed for trouble? That's us. We are the stick in the mud. I'm not saying that all Christian people do what is right all of the time. I am just saying that we will eventually end up in this scenario. At some point, our non-Christian friends do or talk about something we know to be wrong. (And wrong is a bad word these days.) The second we violate the friendship code of the general population by expressing what we see to be good and right in God's eyes, we are dumped, deemed a failure as a friend. We might do this by sharing our feelings about abortion, recreational drug use, etc. Whereas we don't see such expressions as a transgression to our friendship, the general population do. We are "unfriended" because most people consider it of utmost importance that my friendships always leave me feeling good about myself.
As Christians, we Know that always feeling good about ourselves is counterproductive to our growth as people who are pleasing to God and helpful to one another. So there it is in a nutshell. Why you will never be the perfect friend to someone who does not walk with God the way you do.
I have seen friends/family members unfriend Jesus Himself because some part of His Message made them feel not good about themselves. Take comfort. We are in good company.
facebook. It seemed that a "friend" of hers with different beliefs had "unfriended" her. Her situation struck a nerve with me. I had been in the same boat. And I shared her disbelief. The kneejerk reaction for each of us was something like this: How could they unfriend me for something like that? They share all kinds of things that I don't agree with and I wouldn't unfriend them. I have been through it a number of times in my life. It may not have always been on facebook. But it was the same scenario. There is a good explanation for why lopsided "friendship" happens and will continue to happen--and it may be of special importance for Christian people to know why.
First, lets look at what the general population considers friendship to be. All you need do is look at the typical facebook share about friends. Friends are always there for you. They support you no matter what you decide to do. All that matters to them is that you are happy. They are always there to have fun with you, even when you are doing stupid things. They still love you.
Now, consider what friendship is to the person who is maturing in his walk with God. Friends are always there for you. They may not always support what you do, but they are still kind. They may not have fun in the same way that you do, but they still love you. God is welcome in all of our relationships.
If you take time to think about it, the differences between Christian and non-Christian views of friendship are bound to cause conflicts.
As Christians, we seek a relationship with Christ. And that friendship with Him is the model for all other friendships that we form. Yes, we always fall short. But we seek to be like Him. We seek to love others the way He loves us. He would never leave us, right? But He certainly does not approve of all we do. Nor would he pretend to love all that we do for the sake of tickling our ears. He makes us better, stronger. He is firm in His expectations, and steadfast in His love. His model is how Christian people strive to behave in our human friendships. Peace and happiness are the result of knowing God and knowing friendships like the one He offers us.
But a majority of the population do not share our particular view of friendship. Refer back to the typical facebook post about friendship. If you don't believe me, just scroll your news feed. For many, the most important feature of friendship is supporting your friend's actions and happiness. We will always fall short with this one. You know how there is always that one kid in a group who is the voice of reason and points out when they all might be headed for trouble? That's us. We are the stick in the mud. I'm not saying that all Christian people do what is right all of the time. I am just saying that we will eventually end up in this scenario. At some point, our non-Christian friends do or talk about something we know to be wrong. (And wrong is a bad word these days.) The second we violate the friendship code of the general population by expressing what we see to be good and right in God's eyes, we are dumped, deemed a failure as a friend. We might do this by sharing our feelings about abortion, recreational drug use, etc. Whereas we don't see such expressions as a transgression to our friendship, the general population do. We are "unfriended" because most people consider it of utmost importance that my friendships always leave me feeling good about myself.
As Christians, we Know that always feeling good about ourselves is counterproductive to our growth as people who are pleasing to God and helpful to one another. So there it is in a nutshell. Why you will never be the perfect friend to someone who does not walk with God the way you do.
I have seen friends/family members unfriend Jesus Himself because some part of His Message made them feel not good about themselves. Take comfort. We are in good company.
