Green Eyed Monster!

A few days ago, my teenage son and his girlfriend had a tiff.  Both of them are very level-headed for their ages, and they managed to diffuse the situation before it got bigger than it needed to be.  My son had said hello to another girl (who is not a friend to his girlfriend) while they (couple) were walking to class.  Maybe it was the way he said it.  Maybe it was who the girl was.  Maybe his girlfriend was just having a bad moment.
But I was proud of my son and the way he handled it.  He didn’t call her crazy.  He didn’t tell her that she was imagining things.  He didn’t cave either.  He stood his ground without making her feel even more threatened in a weak moment.
Word of wisdom to you guys (and girls), when a little jealousy rears its head, it’s best not to defend yourself.  Her point is not that you are a jerk (even if she calls you one!).  It is that she feels hurt and threatened.  The worst thing you can do is tell her that she is insecure or nuts.  The best thing and kindest thing you can do is to put your arm around her and tell her that you love her.
Now, please don’t message me telling me that I am encouraging people to become doormats.  I am not referring to chronic false accusations.  What a lot of people (especially men) don’t realize is that the way to nip small bouts of jealousy is by handling them lovingly, just like my smart son did.  I must also credit my sweet husband.  He gets it, and I trust him like I’ve never trusted anyone else.

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