Advice to Ladies
A while ago I read a blog post by a younger lady who was lamenting the current state of the dating world. Like many others, she had been through the ringer with “relationships.” Who hasn’t been there? I know I have been there a few times. The stories are all similar: Young, attractive, smart lady meets handsome young (or not so young) man. She wants a meaningful relationship. He tells her he wants the same. And perhaps he does. But it takes a while for her to realize that his idea of meaningful is different from hers. You get where I’m going with this? Enough said.
Here’s the thing that I have learned: we ladies make up lists in our head. They are lists of the qualities we would like in a partner. Some of us have the list in our heart. Others actually write it down on paper or type it up on the computer. It becomes part of our life to-do list. Find a good man with these qualities.
My list would have looked something like this:
Good looks
Money
Believes in God
Hard-working
Dedicated to family
Loves me and puts me above all other worldly things
Not too much to ask for. Right?
It’s not a lot, but what many don’t learn is that some of these desired traits are mutually exclusive. That is, the presence of one cancels out the possibility of another.
Ladies, your brand of completely hot might require that the guy be self-absorbed. It takes a certain selfishness for an adult man to be perfectly coiffed, smell great all the time, and dress like he fell off the cover of GQ. Why would he be enamored with you when he is enamored with himself? There are surely exceptions, but usually, a man who is perpetually worried about his nose hair and pubic hair is suspect. Just saying.
And for those of us still holding out for a man who is loaded, don’t be surprised if you come in 2nd (3rd or 4th) to his money. There are those people who accidentally fall into a money hole, but most of us don’t. If he has piles of cash, he has it because he pursued it relentlessly. And it is usually first and foremost of his concerns.
Now, I could go on an on. This is actually a good subject for a book. And I may do that some day. But for now, I just want to plant the seed. I would love to help those many ladies who are suffering because of the man they are “in love” with.
This is just something to think about. Write your list and find out what traits are mutually exclusive. In those cases, one will not work. Cross out the less-important one and make it a point to let it go. Truly let it go. You might end up with a guy who looks more like Fred Astaire than Mel Gibson. Or a guy who drives a truck and not a Mercedes. But you might also end up with someone who really loves you--and that is nothing to sneeze at.
Here’s the thing that I have learned: we ladies make up lists in our head. They are lists of the qualities we would like in a partner. Some of us have the list in our heart. Others actually write it down on paper or type it up on the computer. It becomes part of our life to-do list. Find a good man with these qualities.
My list would have looked something like this:
Good looks
Money
Believes in God
Hard-working
Dedicated to family
Loves me and puts me above all other worldly things
Not too much to ask for. Right?It’s not a lot, but what many don’t learn is that some of these desired traits are mutually exclusive. That is, the presence of one cancels out the possibility of another.
Ladies, your brand of completely hot might require that the guy be self-absorbed. It takes a certain selfishness for an adult man to be perfectly coiffed, smell great all the time, and dress like he fell off the cover of GQ. Why would he be enamored with you when he is enamored with himself? There are surely exceptions, but usually, a man who is perpetually worried about his nose hair and pubic hair is suspect. Just saying.
And for those of us still holding out for a man who is loaded, don’t be surprised if you come in 2nd (3rd or 4th) to his money. There are those people who accidentally fall into a money hole, but most of us don’t. If he has piles of cash, he has it because he pursued it relentlessly. And it is usually first and foremost of his concerns.
Now, I could go on an on. This is actually a good subject for a book. And I may do that some day. But for now, I just want to plant the seed. I would love to help those many ladies who are suffering because of the man they are “in love” with.
This is just something to think about. Write your list and find out what traits are mutually exclusive. In those cases, one will not work. Cross out the less-important one and make it a point to let it go. Truly let it go. You might end up with a guy who looks more like Fred Astaire than Mel Gibson. Or a guy who drives a truck and not a Mercedes. But you might also end up with someone who really loves you--and that is nothing to sneeze at.
