Today's Painful Choice

I always knew when it was a Boy Scout day because of the smells in the house: a certain aroma of smoke soaked into handbooks, canteens, and clothing that had sat around campfires many times.  Back in 1970 when I was only 3 or 4 years old, my father was a den leader and my mother was a den mother.  Wanting to be a part, I remember insisting that I was a den sister.  My older brother Michael was heavily involved in scouts.  And every so often, my home was host to a group of young boys in that familiar khaki green.  We lived in Wayne, NJ.  And I still remember that we were a part of the Altaha Council.

Last week BSA announced that they might soon be lifting the ban on gays.  Now, without starting WWIII, I would like the freedom to say that the news saddened me.  The BSA has always been a Christian organization.  Indeed, the cub scout promise--recited decades ago by my brother, recited years ago by my teen son, and recited now by my six year old--says 

I promise to do my best

To do my duty to God and to my country

To help other people

And to obey the law of the pack

To be clear, I have no ill will toward gays.  Indeed there have been, and are, gay people for whom I care deeply.  And I do not see myself as better than anyone else.  I strive to be pleasing to God, but know that often I am not.  BSA has had a long-held foundation of Christianity, and has promoted reverence within the scouts themselves.  The foundation of Christianity is Jesus Christ.  And the way that Christian people come to know Him is to read the Bible.  And the Bible is clear on the subject of homosexuality.  I do not want to debate the right or wrong of being gay.  But what does concern me is the pressure on Christian organizations to turn away from deeply held Christian beliefs.  In essence, the lift on the gay ban will force me to embrace and encourage a belief which is in direct contradiction with mine.

The last time I checked, we live in a country where people have freedom: religious and otherwise.  And Scouts has been one of the last organizations for children where people can feel free to be Christian.  We can recite the Pledge of Allegiance, including the Under God part with conviction.  To illustrate a point, would and should a gay organization be forced to allow me, a devout (though flawed) Christian, to join them even though my beliefs are in direct contradiction with theirs?  Would they not be concerned that my beliefs and opinions might, even by chance, be shared and inadvertently imposed upon them?  And wouldn’t this be even more threatening an idea if I were in a leadership position with their children?

If this truly is the Land of the Free, then it should be for all of us.  Christians too.  My Tiger Scout has no idea what gay means.  And I want it to stay that way until he is old enough to know.  And when he is old enough to know, he will still be taught to love all people.

On principal, my husband and I have chosen to remove our young son from scouting.  I cannot express how sad it is to me that he will not be racing his amazing Pinewood car with his friends today.  I cannot express how sad it was for me to remove his uniform, the patched and beaded shirt, the neckerchief, and the cap from his closet door knob and place it into a corner of his closet, knowing that he would not wear it again.  And, personally, to sever the Scouting connection from my father who passed away in 1971, hundreds of Boy Scouts and Leaders at his funeral.  And the memory of an old black and white photo from my father’s time as a Leader in the Altaha Council plagues me.  In the woods, no doubt on some camping outing, a long table is covered by a white cloth.  Behind it, a minister raises his hands in praise.  Before it, Boy Scouts sitting on the ground cross-legged.  And the large hand-written banner hangs across the front of the table emblazoned with the words: A Scout is Reverent.  

In memory of my dad, Thomas Richard Sekulski.