I have had technical trouble getting Choking Butterflies onto Barnes and Noble. There must be some connection with the fact that I was bullied by a boy named Nook.
I was in the sixth grade, standing at the bus stop one day, when I suddenly felt a horrible blow to my left temple. It's funny how we can remember such things so vividly. I remember which way I was looking, and I remember the way it felt as the softball slammed the side of my head. Bam. I went down. And then I ran home crying. My house was right across the street.
This event must have influenced me in writing Choking Butterflies. In Chapter Three, Jane bullies another little girl on the bus.
“You are ugly. You are stupid. No one likes you.” It was a song that both girls knew well. One detested it. Jane would repeat this verse as long as necessary.
By the first repetition, Kimberly’s heart thumped in her chest. By the second or third, her previously tight lips had lost any control and begun to quiver. By the fifth, she could taste the salt as warm tears flowed down her flawless little face and over her mouth. By the time the ride had ended, sobs bellowed out of Kimberly as she stumbled out of the bus and ran toward the school, seeking relief from the cruel chorus. The driver looked perplexed and searched the faces of the children on the bus for some explanation. Most of them, including Jane, appeared indifferent.
Apparently kids still do these kinds of things.
Has this kind of thing ever happened to you? I sometimes wonder about that kid who nailed me with the ball. I hope that he stopped treating people that way. I learned to be stronger because of my experiences, and in spite of my experiences.
For any of you, young or old, who have been there, a symbolic gift of flowers from me to you. Be strong and don't be shaped by the weakness of others.
