An Underlying Theme


It dawned on me today that Choking Butterflies is about more than moral decay.  There is another theme, one that I mention in passing in the book.  Joy is dismissed by her older siblings who place little value on family, and in fact recoil from it.  Joy is saddened by this fact, but eventually lets go and moves on to create a close and loving marriage.  Her hopes for her dream family are dashed again when her child turns out to be like her siblings.  There are, after all, very important things to tend to in life.  And Jane cares little about her mother or any other blood relative.

 My own sadness on the subject leaks out in the pages.  You just can’t want or need too much from people these days.  Not even family.  To most, family means no more than sharing a blood line, like some wild animals who, as adults, don‘t recognize the one they suckled next to.  There is no need to spend time, to give aide, to get to know one’s children.  Unless a person has something amazing to offer, they are overlooked, even by those they call family.  Out of possible guilt, some perform the obligatory annual visit, only to breathe a sigh of relief as they drive away, knowing they won’t have to do it again until next year.  And the recipients are painfully aware.

 There are those poor and boring people who have nothing amazing to offer: no parties, no big gifts, no amazing vacation to boast about.  And you can‘t plan anything nice with them unless you are willing to foot the bill.  Inside, a lot of them have much to offer.  People don’t like unwrapping though.  It's why gift bags are so popular today.  Why waste valuable time unwrapping a plain package when there are perfectly engaging and interesting packages whose wrapping is beautiful and a cinch to open?  By their lack of bells and whistles, and their seeming boringness, they are omitted from get-togethers, get-aways, and all sorts of gatherings. They don’t command people’s attention, not even those who “love” them.  But it is who they are, and how they were made.  So it is ok.  But I can’t say that it isn’t lonely sometimes.

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